Abused
by Sydney Davis
Summary: Rosemarie Hathaway appears to have the perfect life. Nice parents, an amazing boyfriend. But she has a secret. Can the new boy, Christian Ozera, crack her open and look inside? He can have her secrets, but can he have her heart too? ALL HUMAN!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I walked down the hall, wearing my cheerleading uniform. I skidded to a halt in front of my locker, and began putting in my combination.

"Rose! There's a new boy!" Lissa's voice was laced wih excitement and her boyfriend Dimitri stood beside her, looking rather bored.

"Liss, you know I don't care about new boys." I told her.

"Yes, I know, _Mason_ owns your heart." She scoffed. She had never favored Mason, for whatever reason.

"Yep, you got it." I replied, much to her displeasure.

"Oh, look there's the new boy!" She shrieked. I turned to look and my breath caught. To say he was cute was an understatement. He was unlocking his locker, his long black hair falling in his icy blue eyes. He was wearing a baggy black hoodie, and skinny blue jeans, with black Allstar converse. He looked up, and I turned away blushing furiously. I opened my locker and pulled out my purple jacket, the one that read 'To Write Love On Her Arms' in white letters. I tugged it on, and hugged it close to me.

"Ain't he cute?" Lissa questioned, smiling. Dimitri stiffened, slightly.

"No, Liss, he isn't," I lied, "and you don't need to worry about him when you have Dimitri." He shot me a grateful look. I smiled, slightly at him. Two arms wrapped around my stomach. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to not yank away. But that was hard when fresh bruises lined my stomach and back.

"Hey, Mase." I greeted.

"Hello, beautiful." He whispered in my ear, adoringly.

I turned to look at him. He wore faded blue jeans and his football jersey. We had been best friends since diapers, and our friendship developed into a romance last year. So, here we were, captains of the cheerleading and football teams, hugging each other closely.

"Are you excited for the game tonight?" I asked, nearly bursting with excitement.

"Oh yeah!" He shouted, his face breaking out into a smile.

"We're going to class." Lissa said, stiffly, walking down the hallway with Dimitri trailing after her. I frowned after her.

"What's her problem?" Mason scoffed.

_If only he knew._

I was in math class, sitting at my desk, thinking of last nights events. I shuddered, and my stomach began to churn.

**_Flashback_**

_I layed on my bed, curled up under my blanket, praying to God that tonight wouldn't be one of "Daddy's nights" as I like to call them. The door cracked open letting a little light in. I squeezed my eyes shut. _

_"Wake up bitch!" I could smell the liquor on his breath. He grabbed me by the hair, dragging me out of bed. He slapped me with all the strength he could muster up, causing me to fall._

**_End of Flashback_**

Someone brought me out of my mental state, by tapping my shoulder. I looked at the hand on my shoulder, and followed up the arm it belonged to. What I found were bright blue eyes staring at me.

"I'm Christian."

He defiantely proved, that life is beautiful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

Stan Alto was by the far the biggest bastard I have ever had the displeasure to know. But today, that wasn't the reason I wasn't paying attention to him teaching. It was the black haired cutie sitting beside me. Christian sat there, drawing something in his notebook that he was supposed to be taking notes in. I couldn't see it, his arm was blocking my view. On the inside, I was screaming with joy, thanking God(if he was real) that Christian sat beside me. On the outside, I was calm, and acting like I was listening. I looked down at my desk, and noticed a folded piece of paper. In elegant writing on the front, it read _Rose._I opened it and read:

_This class is boring. How do you live through it?-C._

Smiling I wrote a quick reply.

_Now, you have to live with it, too, so you shall soon find out. Besides I can't let you have all my secrets now can I? *wink*-R._

As he unfolded it and read the words, he tried hard to hide a laugh by coughing. I couldn't help by chuckle slighty at the sight. When class was over we gathered our things and walked out of the classroom. As soon as we got out of the classroom we errupted in a fit of laughter. Everyone walking by us gave shot us strange looks, but I ignored them. Sydney approached us.

"Hey, Ro." She greeted, using the oh-so-familiar nickname, "who's your friend? And why are you two laughing so hard?" I quieted down and took in Sydney's appearence. Her blonde hair was swept up into a side ponytail, and she wore her cheerleading uniform along with her boyfriend's, Adrian's, navy blue jacket. I secretly wondered how she kept her shoes so dazzingly white. Her makeup was perfect, but under it was a puzzled expression.

"This is Christian, he's new. And he has Alto's class with me." I told her, holding back laughter. Sydney let out a small giggle of her own.

"Ah, I see. Isn't he lovely, Christian?" She said, sarcastically. That made me let out my own laugh.

"Oh yes. Great first impression." Christian joked. Lissa and Dimitri joined our trio at my locker.

"Hey guys!" Lissa exclaimed happily.

"Hey, Liss, Comrade." I greeted them.

"Rose, if I've said it once, I've said it a million times, you have _no idea _what you're talking about." Dimitri told me.

"Sure I did. Remember I did that report on the R.S.S.R. in ninth grade." I retorted.

"_U__._S.S.R." He corrected.

"Right. Got it." I said. Christian laughed.

"Did you get an F on that report?" He questioned.

"No," I half shouted, "wait.. yeah, no." He laughed again. Than his attention was on something behind me. I smelled the sweet smell of freshly fallen rain. Mason. Before I could stop his bone crushing hug, I felt it. I winced in pain, tears filled my eyes. My head spun, and my breathing grew heavier.

"Mase, let go of her!" It was Dimitri's voice, but it was so distance. Like, he was on the other end of the hallway than right beside me. My mind was racing, but my heart was racing faster. I'm sure everyone around could hear. Than Mason's arms disappeared, and I quickly began stubbling to the bathroom. I could hear my name being called, but I didn't pay any attention. I pushed open the door of the girl's bathroom and moved my way inside the first stall. Sliding down the wall, I began crying and trying to regulate my breathing. I tried my best, to get everything to right itself, but nothing wanted to. I pulled up my shirt, and stared at my stomach. Huge bruises littered my stomach from hits and kicks. On my sides were two huge handprints. Mason's hug had hurt, I wish he knew, I needed him to know, but I couldn't. I'm not sure what had happened. It was like the panic attack I'd had in second grade, but I hadn't had one in years. Tears fell down my face, dripping off my chin, and hit the tile floor with a _drip. _I heard the door open, and someone came in.

"Rose? You in here?" It was Lissa's soft voice, but I didn't answer. I just sat there, praying she would go away. I couldn't let her see me like this. I could never let anyone see me like this. Eventually, she sighed, and I heard the door open and close. Relief flooded me, but the tears only fell faster. I gasped for air, trying desperatly too calm down. Who was I to think my life could ever be normal? I would go on with it, but there was no chance anyone could ever know my secret.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(A/N: Hey guys, sorry about the last chapter. I wrote it wrong to where chapter two was. I'm sooo sorry! So, I deleted chapter three to fix it! Thank you guys for ya'll's for your support.)**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I was so grateful my next period was art. One, I love art. Two, the teacher was Ms. Sonya Karp. Well now known as Mrs. Sonya Tanner. Last month, she got married to a grade nine writing teacher, Mihkail Tanner. Not only did I attend the wedding, I had been the Maid of Honor. Mrs. Tanner was my favorite teacher. I liked her and (huge shock) she like _me._

I walked into her room. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Hello, Rose. Why are you la-" She stopped short and her smile faltered. I mentally kicked myself for not cleaning up.

"Just sit down, Rose. We're doing expressive drawings on one or two words." She told me. I took up my usual seat and thought of what to draw. My passions were drawing, writing, and singing. Not that I'd ever tell anybody. Suddenly, two words ran through my mind. I pulled out my pencil, sketch pad, and pastels. Immediately, I went to work. The words that were flitting through my head, were tainted innocence. We had an hour in this class, while I finished my drawing in thirty minutes. I sat down my pastel and leaned back to look at my aftermath of creativity. A girl was laying on a porch, with fallen autumn leaves scattered around her form. Her eyes were turned upwards. She wore a corset, and a long flowing skirt. Down the middle of her clothing was black that faded into white. Across the bottom of the page I wrote _Tainted Innocence, _in elegant cursive. Mrs. Tanner's shadow fell across the page.

"Beautiful," she murmured in appreciation. ", be prepared to present the last fifteen minutes of class. It's fifty percent of your final grade." She told me. I was excited. I waited inpatiently. Finally, I heard Mrs. Tanner call out, "Quiet down for Rose's presentation." I strided up to the front of the room. I hung my picture on the board with magents, than turned to face the class.

"This drawing represents tainted innocence. Basically, it shows how a person so sweet, and full of life can be destroyed by negative influences and thoughts. It shows how life can hurt you and tear you down. Resulting in, tainted innocence." The class stared at me in wonder and awer.

"Good job, Rose!" Mrs. Tanner praised. I was beaming as a reoccupied my seat with my drawing. "Next is Adrian." Adrian replaced the empty spot with his painting. It had been done in what appeared to be done in oil paints. It was white clouds, with a red streak running through them.**(A/N: Anyone recognize this from Bloodlines?) **

"This represents love. It stands for how even the sweetest love has heartbreak. No matter how much you love someone, or someone loves you, it's gonna have a price. But you still need to love hard, when there is love to bed had. Even if it results in heartbreak." I was fascinated. One little painting held so much meaning. I was impressed. He had done an excellent job, and he was right. Like I had learned with my father- love hurts.

Adrian caught up with me after class.

"Nice job, Little Cheerleader." He stated, smiling.

"Thanks." I told him, smiling,too. Christian walked up to us.

"Can I borrow Rose for a minute?" The question was directed to Adrian.

"Sure." He replied. Christian's hand caught my arm and he steered me away.

"Rose, I _know._" He stated simply. I stiffened.

"You know what?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Don't play stupid with me." He snapped, causing me to flinch. His face softened at my reaction. His hands drifted to my sides, forming his fingers perfectly to the hand shaped bruises.

"That's what I know." He murmured. My eye's widened.

"How?" It was the only word I could form, although there were a million questions running through my head.

"Rose, I just feel like I know _you._" He whispered, brushing fallen tears away. He kissed my forehead, lightly.

"Christian." I said, quietly. He lips crashed into mine. I was overwhelmed by emotion. The hall was empty, considering it was the end of the day. Everyone had gone home to get ready for the game. The football players and cheerleaders were supposed to be in the gym, warming up. I put my hand on Christian's chest, pushing lightly.

"I'll see you tonight at the game." With that, Christian walked away, leaving me alone with only him in my thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

Christian hadn't come to the game after all, much to my disappointment. I didn't know what to think as I drove home. I held a death grip on the steering wheel. The rain was blurring my vision of the road ahead. A memory of my dead mother comes rushing back to me.

**(Flashback)**

**(Third Person P.O.V.)**

Rose could hear the laughter all around her as she climbed the steps to reach the top of the towering diving board. Her best friends, Lissa, Lissa's brother Andre, and Dimitri, were there, along with her mother and father. Even Lissa's and Andre's parents were there. She made it to the top and stood for a moment, just looking at the edge of the diving board. Than, she was running, running quite quickly. Janine Hathaway watched in amazement as her daughter's thirteen year old body soared through the air, over the water, casting a shadow. Rose looked down, looked to see the water rushing up to her, to see her feet dangling below her. She molded her little body together, trying desperately to make the sting of the impact hurt less. When it came, she felt nothing. There was too much adrenaline coursing through her veins to feel. When she came up, she was greeted by her mother's smiling face. Life was okay back than. If only they knew..

**(End of Flashback)**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

My hands were so tight around the steering wheel, that blood dripped from where the bones in my knuckles where they had tore through skin. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Than, I noticed, this wasn't my neighborhood. I was heading in the direction of Mason's house. I didn't mind. It would be nice to see him, it'd also be nice to not have to go home. Not like I wanted to be home. I didn't want to be there, not with _him. _How many new bruises would I have tomorrow if I did go home? Would he be so drunk he'd already be passed out? I loved nights like that. When pain didn't exist, and I could drift to sleep, _almost _feeling normal. I wished I was normal. Than, I wouldn't have to lie to everyone. There would be nothing to lie about. Life was perfect, before Christian showed up. I had worked hard to hide the abuse all of my highschool years, and no one had caught on, or even _asked _for that matter. So how could Christian come along and suddenly know everything? It was so hard when I was around everyone to make life look so _easy. _It wasn't easy. I remember when everything went wrong. When mom and dad started fighting. I turned on my cd player, the familiar song, If These Walls Could Talk by Dead Celebrity Status blaring. I didn't really hear the words, I could only feel pure raw emotion, cracking me open. The tears in my eyes threatened to spill down my cheeks. I was blinking them away in no time.

I was beyond mad. Furious wouldn't even describe it. How could one boy who _barely _knew me unravel my life and past so quickly? Did I give it away? Was it that obvious? _Was he going through the same thing_?

So many questions, questions that go unanswered.

**(Christian's P.O.V.)**

I rolled over in bed where I had fallen asleep and looked at my alarm clock. 11:05 p.m. flashed in read neon. _Shit! The game! _I had missed the game. I told Rose I would be there. I wondered if she was okay. Was she at home? Was she avoiding going home? I was angry with myself. I hopped out of bed, opening the window. The full moon caught my eyes, held me in place. I wonder if Rose was looking at it too.

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I pulled over onto the side of the road, and stared out the windshield. Through the heavy rain I saw the full moon, illuminating the night, enhancing shadows. I wonder if Christian was looked at it, too.

**(Both's P.O.V.)**

_Where ever you are, I hope you see this moon, too. Than, we'd be looking at the same thing, and it would tie us together, no matter how far apart we are._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

It was Saturday night, and I had met up with Christian. We had met an empty field, about an hour away from town. To others, this place was nonexistent. To me, it was the perfect isolation. We were in the woods, and I had started a fire. I stared into it intently, watching the dancing flames eat away at the logs. I never thought anyone would be out here with me, ecspecially not a perfect stranger. If anything, I thought I would bring Lissa and Mason here, but no. I felt like I was here at the perfect time with the perfect person.

I felt Christian's eyes boring into me, so I lifted my gaze to where he sat opposite of me. It wasn't a weird observation, but felt more like he was looking into me, seeing into my soul. His eye's held such intensity I felt as if I could melt away, into a perfect place. We didn't need any words right now, we didn't even need movement. It was like we could see each other, hear each other, and even _feel _each other, just by this one look. The icy orbs held me in place. He looked mysterious, and he seemed to be even more gorgeous than he always was. It was supernatural. In my mind, I could see me cuddling up to him, the warmth of his arms reaching me under the gray shirt I wore. It was only him and me right now. We were like one single being, with one soul. I could hear every distinct sound of the night right now: insects, animals, Christian's breathing, the delicate _woosh _of the blood in my veins, the chirping of crickets. Thousands of sounds, coming together to create the perfect music of different breathings.

"Rose?"

"Yes?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"Falling in love."

"Why?"

I hesitated, knowing this answer would let this stranger become closer to me.

"Because my mom and dad were in love, than they fell apart. She died, he began to beat me. I'm afraid of ending up like that. And I don't need another reason to be mad at God."

Suddenly, he was beside me, holding me gently in his arms.

"You don't have to be afraid." He whispered.

"Yes, I do. What if I fall?" I whispered back.

"Than I'll catch you."

His lips caught mine. It started off sweet and innocent, just a loving gesture, than grew passionate and needy. Every fiber, atom, everything inside of me felt on fire. It was like waking up after a million years of being asleep. Just this one little thing, meant so much. I was scared, to let him in, to let _love _in. Yet, the excitement is in the risk, in the undeniable fear. I had never felt so alive, and carefree. We melted into each other, neither daring to pull away. We couldn't, not yet. Just not yet. A little longer, that's all we needed. I've always wanted to feel the fairytale book kind of love, but this was even better. This was pure raw love unfolding right before me, sending electric shocks through my body. This was the kind of love everyone wanted, and the only kind I needed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Lissa's P.O.V.)**

**A Month Later.**

It had been a month since Christian moved here. Twenty eight days since him and Rose got together. Twenty eight days since Rose left Mason destroyed. Twenty six days since Mason moved, and six days since we got a devastating phone call from Mason's mom. She had informed us all of Mason's suicide. Rose had been upset, but took it better than expected. I expected her to stride in any moment, yet she wasn't here yet. My nerves were wound tight as I looked around the spots near where our little group always meets. Last night we had gotten together at my house, to read Mason's suicide note. It was all about Rose.

"Where could she _be_?" I asked all of them, looking around searching desprately for my best friend. We all stood up and began to search. We looked high and low, mostly in the places where her and Mason used to hang out. When we did find her, I was _disgusted. _We all stood there wide eyed, looking at her in open shock and horror. Her long hair was swept into a quick side ponytail. She had on form fitting skinny jeans, a plain orange shirt, and her lime green jacket. She looked normal, except her eyes. We had found her with the stoners.

"Ohhh look, little Ms. Goody-two- shoes is actually in the _stoners corner._" Remarked one of the major druggies. The group laughed, including Rose. Her laugh soothed my nerves a little as I listened to the sound. It was like a beautiful, acient song. One you would always cherish.

"Liss, just get out of here." Rose told me, looking me in the eyes intently, as if her gaze would somehow push me away, or cause me to crumble away.

"Rose, this _isn't you._" I told her, gently. She scowled.

"You don't know who the hell I am, little Ms. Cheer Captain." I flinched at the icy rage that flowed with her words. She had quit the cheerleading team, leaving the co-captain(me) to fill the spot. Anger boilded inside of me.

"When did you become such a _bitch_?" I snarled.

"Maybe I've been hanging out with _you _too long." She snapped back. Everyone in both groups were watching, looking as horrified as they would if they were standing in the middle of World War Two.

"Just get the fuck out of here, Vasilisa." She hissed. This time, I did, I steered myself away from the little group, and immediately knew the others were trailing behind me

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

**That Night. **

"Are you sure it won't hurt?" I asked Nate, eyeing him suspicously. He threw his head back and began laughing loudly.

"'Course it won't. It's like getting your ears pierced, one sting and than its over." I watched as the flame from his lighter licked the needle. He took it away and blew out in gently. He moved closer to me, and I braced myself for the pain. The needle slid through ny nose in one fluid motion. I felt nothing, and than he moved it away, replacing it with a small diamond stud. Nate was a sweet guy, long brown hair, and dark chocalate colored eyes. We had been friends all through school, unitl ninth grade, when he became one of the stoners. Now, all I wanted was to be part of his group. Mason's suicide note, tore my heart out, leaving it bleeding on the floor. I couldn't even look Christian in the eye. I was scared to hurt him, too.

"Hey whatcha thinking about?" Nate questioned, soflty, pulling me close.

"Nothing." I replied, almost automatically.

"Rose, a lot of people people are _pissed. _Are you sure you want to give them up just for a quick high?" He questioned.

"No, I'm not sure. But we're supposed to learn from our mistakes, right?"

"I guess so." He said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I'm _fine._" I assured him. But I definately wasn't.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Nate's P.O.V.)**

I watched Rose get out of her car, and looked at her in amazement. She had her hair in a high side ponytail, and had on no makeup. She wore a baggy sweatpants, and a baggy ass shirt. Her new nose peircing shined brightly in the sunlight. She still looked beautiful. I felt terrible, though, knowing why she wouldn't try anymore. She had lost Mason, her best friend since pre-K and she didn't want to hurt anybody. I knew she felt it was her fault, knew she was hanging out with us for that reason, but she was giving up so much. Her best friend, her boyfriend, and people that held her near and dear. I didn't want Mason's suicide to be her reason. I knew what went on at home, I had made the mistake of stepping on her dad's path of destruction one night, but it was worth saving her from the pain. I just wanted to run up, take her in my arms, and whisper _'You don't know how lovely you are.' _I watched as she walked our way, with a smile plastered on her face, her eyes already red.

"Hey guys." She greeted in her beautiful voice, one that used to sing me to sleep after my mom and dad would fight.

"Hey." I said, pushing away the sad thoughts, that always seem to imprison me.

"Well, don't you look gorgeous today." Jake complimented, though I could tell he was just as worried as me.

"Why thank you." She replied, grinning.

"So, we're all getting together at my house tonight to watch movies. Wanna come?" Leigh asked, her eyes falling on Rose.

"Sure, sounds fun." Rose replied. I wrapped an arm around her, kissing her cheek lightly. If only I knew what was going through her mind.

**(Lissa's P.O.V.)**

I watched Rose, looking like she was content and having the time of her life, with the... _stoners. _She had a new group of friends, ones that made her forget us. Maybe it helped her to forget Mason? Dimitri walked up and wrapped an arm around me, kissing me softly.

"What is it, love?" He questioned, following my gaze. "Don't let it get to you, she loves you. You should know that." He whispered into my ear. I glanced over at Christian, he was watching her, with so much love, betrayal, and pain in his eyes. It broke my heart. He had the number one spot, now he has a replacement. I never knew Rose could be so cold. But looking back, I can see it. She was never a gentle, kind girl. She was always hurting people, getting revenge. So, yes, maybe this was some sick form of getting her closure.

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I was getting ready, to Leigh's house. I grabbed my car keys, and walked outside. It was beautiful, it had been snowing. It looked like an artic wasteland out here. I turned to shut the door and noticed my dad passed out on the couch. Something tugged in my heart, as I saw his small smile. Maybe somewhere, he was with mom again. Maybe sleeping is where he found peace. I walked over and covered him with a blanket. When I turned to leave, a hand grabbed my arm. I tensed, expecting the worse. Instead my dad said six words I never expected to hear from him,

"I'm sorry, Rose. I love you."

"I know dad, I love you, too." His hand fell and he settled back into a peaceful sleep. Instead of walking out the door, I shut it, put my keys down, and went back upstairs.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Lissa's P.O.V.)**

It was just another dreary day, in a dull school, in a God forsaken town. I sat on the steps of the school building, having the dismissal had already rang. This place used to be my escape. That is, before Rose began driving in a different direction, on an unfamiliar road. I sighed, and stood up, making my way down the steps. Thats when I heard it. Rose's angry voice, accompanied by one I wasn't familiar with. I peeked around the corner. There stood Rose, her face red with anger, her eyes bloodshot as if she had been crying for days. The boy with her, what was his name? Nick? Nathan? Nate? Yes, Nate thats his name, stood in front of her, matching her appearance. There eye's were not from the smoke of another high. But from exhaustion and tears.

"You _are not _a stoner, Rose! You need to stop these destructive ways!" Nate hissed.

"Don't tell me what to do! You don't even fucking _know me_!" She snapped back at him, eyes full of hate.

"This is not the way to mourn over Mason's death. What about Lissa? She loves you, Rose." He remarked, his voice dropping.

"If Lissa was in my position, she would do the same thing." Rose stated, her voice deadly, her eyes narrowing.

"The thing is, Rose, I don't think she would." He replied, shaking his head, and leaving her there with a shocked expression. I left the school, holding a new respect for, God forgive me, a stoner.

**The Next Day.**

Getting out of my car, I notice two shocking things. Dimitri, waiting for me, and Rose, sitting on a small marble bench, looking at me. I could see her, the _real _her. The baggy sweat pants had been traded for faded skinny jeans, her loose boy shirts traded for a yellow tank top, peeking out from under her lime green hoodie. Her ponytail of lately was not their, instead her curls fell loosely. The small diamond stud no longer glittered in her nose. She even brushed on a light layer of makeup. Her eyes dropped down to her sparkling white tennis shoes. I groaned in frustration and leaned out of the car, and ran into the arms of Dimitri.

"Will she ever come back?" I whispered into Dimitri's chest.

"I believe so, Vasya," I took comfort in the famaliar Russian nickname, "it may be a long winter, but it will be a beautiful spring." The metaphor puzzled me, but I gave no thought to it...

At least not for now.

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I no longer fit in anywhere. I was stranded, lost at sea. It felt like my world was spinning in slow motion, so slow it seemed to stop, yet everyone else just kept moving. I watched Christian, Lissa, Dimitri, Adrian, so many other familiar faces. I wanted nothing more to just skip happily over to Chrisitan, for him to take me in his arms, and sweep me off my feet, into the air. I missed the way he moved. I used to fell his heart, I've fallen asleep to the beat. I needed his forgiveness, _their _forgiveness.

_Oh God, where are you? God, I've tried, am I lost in your eyes? I've cried, in silence, do you not see my tears?_

Oh, Christian, please forgive me. I spotted a new member in the small group. I knew her. I could spot that perfect black haired, green eyes, innocent faced girl anywhere. Her name was Natalie Dashkov, one of the sweetest girls you could ever meet. She was Lissa's cousin, and she was gorgeous. I didn't exactly care for her right now. And that's because she was sitting next to Christian, snuggling up under his arm. I felt my heart shatter, and the tears begin to form. I felt betrayed, I felt so many things I didn't know exactly _what _to feel.

"It's not what you think." Said voice from behind me. I turned, slightly, to see long black hair, and beautiful blue-grey eyes. Avery Lazar. Her father, Eugene Lazar, was assistant princapal to Headmistress Ellen Kirova.

"What're you talking about, Avery?" I questioned. She flipped open her phone and I watched as she scrolled through 'phone call recordings.' She landed on one and pressed play with her long black fingernail.

"If you love her so much, what the _hell _are you doing with _Natalie_?" Her.

"Between you and I, she could never compare to Rose." Christian. She pressed stop.

"That's what I'm talking about." She told me, smiling gently.

I looked at Avery with new eyes. She cared. Cared for people she barely knew. She placed a hand on my shoulder, and gave a squeeze.

_I'll make it up to you, Christian, I swear. I love you. _I thought silently.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(A/N: xxxcrybabyxxx11 and Kris Ivashkov25 you guys are just so amazing! I swear you two are what keep me writing this story. Kris Ivashkov25: Don't worry Christian and Rose will get back together!(: And xxxcrybabyxxx11 I'm sorry my story makes you cry, but doesn't the title give away the emotion in it?(: I love you two!)**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I glided into homeroom, feelings scattered everywhere. Where did I fit in? Did I fit in _anywhere_? The good thing about being in highschool, is they let us use our ipods. I took out mine, scrolling through, stopping on Crawl by SuperChick.

How long will this take? _How long until I can call him mine?  
><em>How much can I go through? _I can't take anymore.  
><em>My heart, my soul aches. _Oh, Christian please, come back to me.  
><em>I don't what to do. _What can I do when the one I love most is killing me?  
><em>I bend, but don't break. _Everyone keeps bending me, deciding my life for me.  
><em>And somehow I'll get through. _Every dark night is accompanied by a brighter morning.  
><em>Cause I have you. _But I don't have him. She does._

And if I have to crawl. _Crawl to him, begging forgiveness.  
><em>Will you crawl, too? _Would you crawl across the Earth's uneven grounds to find me?  
><em>I stumble and I fall. _Always falling, falling even more in love with you.  
><em>Carry me through. _Like you used to._  
>The wonder of it all, is you. <em>You are such a mystery.<br>S_ee me through. _Can you see me at all?_

Oh Lord, where are you? _Are you listening?_  
>Do not forget me here. <em>But I feel you already have.<br>_I cry in silence, _Nothing new there._  
>Can you not see my tears? <em>Why would you want to see them?<br>_When all have left me, _Oh, they have, they have._  
>And hope has disappeared. <em>There is no such thing as hope in a world of darkness.<br>_You'll find me here. _I'll be here waiting._

And if I have to crawl. _I'm stuck in a place of misguidance._  
>Will you crawl, too? <em>Why'd you have to go?<em>  
>I stumble and I fall. <em>Falling head first into a black abyss.<br>_Carry me through. _Hold me in your arms again._  
>The wonder of it all, is you. <em>I just can't figure you out.<em>  
>See me through.<em>Please see me.<em>

When everything I was is lost. _It's long gone.  
><em>I have forgot, but you have not. _You'll never forget._  
>When I am lost, you have not lost me. <em>You left me.<br>_When everything I was is lost, _I am on the wrong path.  
><em>I have forgot, but you have not. _How can I forget?  
><em>When I am lost, you have not lost me. _Won't you come back to me?  
><em>You have not lost me. _Please, say you love me._

And if I have to crawl. _My heart is an a high speed chase, chasing you.  
><em>Will you crawl, too?_ You gave up on me._  
>I stumble and I fall. <em>I'm stuck here, in desperation.<em>  
>Carry me through. <em>Please, say it's me.<em>  
>The wonder of it all, is you. <em>My beautiful mystery.<em>  
>See me through. <em>Please, look at me.<em>

Tears fell down my face, marking it with gray streaks from smudged eye liner. I turned off my Ipod, and listened to the soft _drop, drop _of my tears hitting the desk. I just want to shut the world out, just wanted to be left alone. Nothing was alright, nothing at all, I was so lost. I needed guidance, but I'm a misguided ghost. I am invisible, and seeking a place to go, a place where I fit in, but that was with the people who no longer wanted anything to do with me.

"Rose, are you alright?" Avery's concerned voice met my ears.

"Yeah." I replied, sniffling. But my mind scream, _no please help me! _Oh, please, please save me.

**After School**

**__**I sat inside Avery's silver Volvo, hunched over, burring my face into my hands.

"Why is it so damn hard?" I sobbed.

"No one said it was easy." Avery stated thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but no one said it would be this hard."

Her eyes were soft and sympathetic. I noticed her eyes travel and her grip on the steering wheel tighten. I looked around, but saw nothing that would cause this reaction. I decided not to ask. Besides, the last thing I needed was something else on my shoulders, suffocating me, slowly, oh so slowly. Hurt was becoming the most dominant emotion in this world. Everything was in black and white, except them. I breathed in slowly and came to terms with the fact, that I just had to make up my mind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I lay in my bed, curled up, holding my knees, pressing them to my chest. I could see long dark strands of hair scattered across my pillow, and over my face, obscuring my view. I could lay here forever, I could lay here and never move again, just take in the comfort of being alone, of not having to say a word. My hand fastened around my forearm, nails burring themselves into the folds of skin, marring perfect, unmarked skin. Yet, I didn't care. All I could do was smile as the pain increased. It was the only thing I could control. I felt like screaming out 'See? You aren't the only person that can hurt me!' But I didn't, I just stayed silent. I felt my insides cracking to pieces, bits of me were all over this town. At the neighborhood park, where I first met Mason. At the pizza parlor, our first date. Down by the creek, our first kiss. At Bank Woods, the hospital where I was born. At the mall, shopping for formal dresses with my mother. The Blood Rose Cemetery where my mother was buried. At Lissa's house, the gym, the football field, at my locker, just _everywhere. _Life used to be so simple.

I sit up, not letting go of my arms, only tightening my grip. I open the window, and listen to the sounds of rain. For some odd reason, I never dream of rain. But rain was beautiful, rain drenched dying plants, saving them, than it hit me: Sometimes rain washes the dreams away. But what dreams did I have left. Everything was gone, I was lost at sea, feeling helpless. Through the rain, I saw a crescent moon, in all it's beauty. My inner thoughts calmed, the turmoil lessening. Gazing out at the moon, I had a desire to reach out and touch it, feel all the rough craters against my skin. I closed my eyes, and began breathing slowly. _Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. _I was so relaxed, I jumped about ten feet in the air when something brushed against me, but when I looked it was just my kitten, Hecate. She was the most beautiful little kitten, completely black, but so puffy her legs only looked an inch long. Her eyes were a sea foam color, the color of Adrian's eyes. She purred softly as I moved her into my lap and rubbed behind her ears. It was actually a comfort to feel something warm and alive so close to me. No one was ever close to me anymore. As I looked into Hecate's eyes I could see Adrian. I fell in love with her, at first site. Adrian and I were dating at the time, in eight grade, and her bought her for me, after I gushed over her. I'll never forget that.

I lay back down, holding Hecate close to me. Our breathing was actually in sync, moving together at a slow pace.

"I love you, my Little Hecate." I murmured. She placed her paw gently on my cheek, as if to say, I love you, too. I stayed there, just like that, until the first traces of sunlight peeked through the window. I heard dad moving around downstairs, preparing everything for the day. It felt so normal, when I was so lost. I'm so glad some things never change. Hecate stirred, and mewed in my face, as if saying, 'Get up.' That's what I did. I got up and got ready for school. When I got downstairs, dad was already gone, as usual. I shook my head, grinning.

Some things never change, even if people do.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

I decided not to go to school. Instead I walked down to the creek where Mason and I used to go all the time. It was winter, and snowing hard. That's the way it always was in Montana. By the time I got there, my lungs were burning, and my legs collapsed. I enjoyed my sitting place on the snow. I sat and I listened to the world and nature around me. A memory rushed to me.

**(Flashback)**

**(Third Person P.O.V.)**

Rose looked out at the beautiful creek, taking in the comfort of the earth. Mason sat close to her, breathing in her perfume. They were only thirteen. He looked over into her eyes, taking in the comfort of the brown orbs. He sat just watching her, and a small red blushed broke out across her cheeks.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Her voice was soft and shy, like it had always been since Mason had first met her.

"Do you love me, Rose?" He questioned in a small voice. Her eye's widened, slightly.

"Of course." She insisted, scooting closer to him, her almost black hair blowing slightly in the wind.

"Do I take your breath away?"

"Yes." He could see the honesty in her eyes, and the love that she held for him. He leaned over, and there they shared their first kiss.

**(End of Flashback)**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

The memory wanted to make me cry and never stop. I turned my face skyward, and looked into the blue depth of color and white pureness of the clouds. I didn't know what I was going to without Mason around. He had been my shoulder to cry on, my light in the dark, always the person I could trust. Why did he have to love me? Maybe if he hadn't, he would be here, and we would still be best friends. But it doesn't matter where he is, I'll hold him again. If only I could listen to him talk, if only I could run my fingers over his skin, just to make sure he was real. I could only dream.

**(Lissa's P.O.V.)**

I look around, my eyes searching wildly for Rose. Today I was going to talk to her. Today I was going to beg her to forgive me. I looked at that boy. He was looking down at his shoes, but I payed no attention. All I could think was 'you stole Rose from me, you took her away.' I knew it was wrong, because it wasn't true. But I needed Rose, like my lungs need oxygen. She was the light shining through a million years of darkness. She was the daring one, reckless in her journey of life. She was the one who always went out of her way to protect me. _And you're so lost without her. _A voice inside my soul whispered, and it was true. She had always been the indirect leader of our group. She had always had a strong connection to her inner self, and always knew what to do. But right now we were thousands of miles apart, almost as if we were on separate planets. The distance was created by a web of lies, a commitment to darkness, and the distant echo of the voice in her mind telling her to punish herself. Now, all I could do was stare at her beauty, so perfect it was as if I was staring into a diamond's reflection. My throat tightened thinking of her, threatening to bring tears. I felt like banging my head into a wall and crying. A glimpse of familiar black hair beckoned me forward, and called me to it. I ran over, taking Natalie's shoulder in my hand. She turned to me, her eye's filled with joy and a smile graced her face.

"Yes, Liss?" She questioned. I cleared my throat.

"Leave Christian alone. He belongs with Rose, _to _Rose." I said, quickly, her smile fell, and she looked at me in shock. And than..

**To be Continued..**

**(A/N: Uh oh cliffhanger!)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Lissa's P.O.V.)**

And than her sweet innocent eyes filled with accusing tears. She flung a finger into my chest.

"I'm your cousin! You're supposed to take up for me! But you never do, it's always your fucking precious Rosemarie. Well guess what," She said, her voice dropping her voice lower, with a smug smile that was screaming 'I've won." ", Rosemarie left, and she's never coming back. Because she gave you up, to smoke weed, and because you remind her of the one person she wanted to forget!" Natalie screamed in my face. Before I even knew what I was doing, my hand snaked up and struck her cheek, making a loud _pop. _

"You bitch!" She screeched and hurried away. And, for some reason I had a sinking feeling, because I knew she was right, Rose _did _want to forget me, so she could forget Mason. Than, I felt someone's eyes on me, and as I turned to look, Christian was glaring at me, holding Natalie and stroking her hair.

"But you don't love her." I whispered, and I set off across the parking lot, jerking my door open. I cranked it and waited for it to warm up, than set off to the creek, the only place I found peace.

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

As I looked out across the frozen water, I could hear a car's rumble in the distance. I listened closer. I would know the sound of that car anywhere. It was Breezy, Lissa's BMW. Soon, I felt a presence behind me.

"Have a seat, Liss." I mumbled. She scrambled and sat down beside me, and I could feel the warmth of her radiating off of her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, sounding shocked.

"Sitting, thinking." We sat in silence, just taking in each other, than I left and arm snake around her, and squeeze her into a hug. Than she gave a high pitched sneeze, one that sounded like a baby's.

"What are you allergic to me?" I asked, eyeing her, grinning.

"No, it's my brother's new kitten. Andre and that damned cat are just too cute."

"And your allergic to it." I said in a sing-song voice.

"Don't say that! I love kitties." She said matter-of-factually. Than, we were both giggling wildly. It felt like old times, just us, no one could hurt us, and nothing ever changed. Than, as our laughs settled down, I heard her quiet voice,

"I think you should get back with Christian."

I threw a harsh gaze at her. She was treading on unfamiliar grounds, going to places she shouldn't be.

"This is an unpaved and unfamiliar road you're driving down. Turn around, you don't want to be on this turf." I told her, in a warning voice.

"I'm sorry, Rose." She told me in a quiet voice. I sighed. I just didn't want to feel like this anymore. I did need, Christian, more than anything. He was my breath, my soul. _You still love him. He's not yours. What the fucks wrong with you? _I thought in disgust.

"How has he been?" I questioned, desperate to get close to Christian, without physically getting close to him, otherwise, I'd reach out and touch him, brush my fingers against his skin, press my lips to his.

"He's been.. shut down. Withdrawn." My heart filled with despair, knowing I was partially to blame, I just wanted to love him. But I couldn't. I would hurt him more in the long run. But I craved to have him in my arms, whispering to me, his words nonsense, meant to reassure. I thought about what could have been, what would have been. Than, my phone's ringtone rang in my pocket.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey. Are we still meeting at the coffee shop?"

"Yes." I reassured Avery.

"Okey dokey, see ya in fifteen minutes." I snapped my phone shut, and Lissa's eyes seemed sad.

I could feel our friendship trying to rekindle, to rebuild itself. I wanted it to, needed her friendship like a heartbeat. She was my guardian angel, as her looks said. The long pale blonde hair, the beautiful jade green eyes that seemed to assess not only you, but also your soul.

"We'll get together later. I promise." With that, I disappeared into the beauty of the sunlit day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va, I only own the plot.**

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

****I waited n the coffee shop for about an hour. By the time I left, I was steaming. I decided quickly to go visit Christian's older brother, whom he lived with. I pulled up my Volvo into the driveway, to find Dakota wasn't home yet. I sighed and sat on the front step to wait for him.

**(Third Person's P.O.V.)**

Thirty minutes later, Dakota's beat up black Honda pulled into the driveway. He strode up to the steps, taking a seat beside Rose.

"You aren't supposed to be here."

"There is no rule that says I cannot be." She replied, simply, looking up at the sky.

"He will be here soon." Dakota informed her warily.

"Let him be." She stated, shrugging. Than, he was there, standing in front of the pair.

"Why is she here, Dakota?" He demanded, angrily.

"Rosemarie is still welcome here, Christian. She _is _still my best friend." Rose hated her full first name, but it strangely put her at peace to hear it from Dakota. Christian stared at his brother and Rose. His brother, with blonde, almost white hair, and the famous Ozera blue eyes. Rose with brown, almost black hair, and huge gorgeous brown eyes. His brother's green polo, Rose's hoodie, his brother's black pants, Rose's faded jeans. And he couldn't help but notice how close they were sitting. His ex-girlfriend, the girl that was still his soul mate.

"Nice to see you, Chris." She called in a neutral, but musical voice. The her, he was breath-taking. His shocking blue eyes that held a fire, his black hair that just came to his chin, the black shirt, the grey sweatpants.

"Nice to see you, too, Rosie." She hated the nickname, but on his lips it sounded so sweet. _Please, let me hold you, one last time. _He thought, looking at her.

"I really must be going." She stated nonchalantly, rising from the marble steps.

"See ya later, Kota." Christian felt a surge of jealousy as she leaned down, flattening her lips to Dakota's cheek. She even looked at Christian as she brushed by, and called,

"Bye, Chris. Tell Natalie I said hi." Than, she was gone, in her car driving away, from the house, from Christian, from everything.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Va.**

**(Christian's P.O.V.)**

Rose is beautiful, Rose is kind. But she isn't mine. Our love was one gone terribly wrong. Yet, I still love her. More than I love myself. She is an odd person. A girl in a city of fools, acting so careful and cool, but they've torn her apart before. I often acted like I hated her. I think that keeping this up could be dangerous. I barely know her, yet with her I have a handful of moments I wish I could change. Her beauty shined like a star, because that's what she is. My shining star in my world of darkness. How I ended up with Lissa's cousin Natalie was beyond me. Natalie was sweet, and pretty. But she was nothing compared to Rose, and she never would be. All I can see when I close my eyes is Rose, laughing and smiling. Dakota swore she still loved me, still needed me. But am I really supposed to believe that? Missing her like this, is such sweet sorrow, why won't she come back? Does she even want to see my face again? Yes, I am a waste of chances. I never seem to please her, but when it's broken its perfect. We're the perfect cause of, foolish, young, and in love. When we feel to much we break apart, but always seem to come back for more. And for now I'll forget her, until I get her back. I sighed and leaned back onto my bed, feeling a pressure on my chest, alerting me that tears were threatening to fall. It was a Saturday, nothing more, nothing less. But it was a day of immense pain. Pain that only I can feel. Lissa was throwing a party tonight, Natalie won't be there, she's going out of town. But I'm positive Rose will be there. And I will have to watch her laugh with someone else, dance with someone else, and maybe even kiss someone else. My body tensed at the thought of that. I turned over and closed my eyes, hoping to sleep peacefully.

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

****I shot up in bed, tendrils of fear coiling around me. I couldn't remember the dream, but I did know it had been horrible. I glanced over at the clock. Six. I drug myself out of bed, and walked into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I was shocked at my appearance. My hair was a tangled mess and under my eyes were heavy bags. I turned on my flat iron, and began starting on my makeup. I traveled back into my room and pulled out my dress I was wearing to Lissa's party. I went back into the bathroom, throwing off my sweats and tank-top. I pulled on the dress, and looked in the mirror. It was a strapless knee-length black dress, with a slit coming to mid-thigh. It clung to all the right places, and along the breast line was a string of blood red roses. I straightened my hair, than walked into my room, slipping on my black high heels. I walked downstairs and was startled to see my dad, completely sober on the couch, talking to a lady that worked with him. Her name's Annie.

"Going out Rose?" He asked.

"Yes, to Lissa's."

"Have fun. I love you."

"Love you, too, dad."

I walked out to my car and started to Lissa's. It took thirty minutes to pull up to her house. I noticed familiar cars, and walked up to the door. I opened the door, and loud music flooded out. I smiled, and walked in, my eye's roaming for Lissa. She was dancing with Dimitri, so I made my way to the (spiked) punch bole. Sipping the drink, I felt myself relax. Than, Jesse Zeklos walked over to me.

"Hey, Rose." He greeted. I flashed my man-eater grin.

"Hey, Jess." I replied.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here alone?" He asked, his eye's skimming the dance floor.

"No one's caught my interest." He grinned at me, than held out his hand.

"Care to dance?"

I placed my hand in his.

"I'd love to."

He led me out to the dance floor and a slow song came on, and he pulled me close, placing his hand on my shoulder, while mine snaked around his waist. We swayed side to side, smiling at each other, until I saw Christian, dancing with Camille Conta. My whole body tensed, and Jesse followed my eyes. He looked back at me.

"Why'd you break up with him?" Jesse questioned.

"I didn't want to hurt him." Jesse shook his head, slowly, than looked into my eyes.

"Rose, their is pain with joy, dark with light, thorns with a rose." I processed this, but I didn't want to admit he was right. I didn't want him to be right. He placed a hand on my lower back and began gently guiding me in their direction. When we reached them, Camille flashed Jesse a flirty smile.

"Mind if I cut in?" He asked, looked at Christian. Christian's shoulder's rose and fell under his black shirt, and Jesse tugged Camille away, leaving me alone with the boy who took my breath away.

"Hey." I said, quietly, looking down at my feet.

"Hey." He said, nonchalantly.

"Rose." He began than trailed off, before starting again. "I-I miss you. And I still... Still love you." He whispered. My eye's widened in shock, than he was pulling me to him, and I was resting in his arms, leaning my head onto his chest. He kissed my forehead gently. I looked up at him, my eyes filling with happy tears. This was the way it was supposed to be. Just Christian and I. It's supposed to be just us. Forever. For always.


	15. Chapter 15

"Disclaimer:** I do not own Va.**

**(Christian's P.O.V.)**

It was Friday night and we were all gathered in the drama department. There was a stage and people were going up onto it for the talent show.

"Go sing Rose." Lissa urged gently. Our friends hummed their agreement. Rose shook her head.

"Come on. Go sing for me Rose." I whispered in her ear. She sighed, walking up to the stage. People stared, wondering what she was going to do.

"Um, hi. I'm going to sing Your song by Kate Walsh for Christian." She murmured than say in front of the keyboard. She began gently tapping the keys, than cleared her throat.

"Haven't you heard?  
>I'm stuck on a verse<br>I'm stuck on a boy who feels me with joy  
>I knew I was wrong to<br>jump straight on into this picture so pretty  
>But he is so pretty to me."<p>

Her voice was beautiful, soft and angelic.

"And he doesn't know just how far I would go  
>Just to kiss him<br>He doesn't know I pine."

Her eye's met mine, and I smiled in awe.

"So I make whirlpools  
>And watch him sparkle<br>And we'll make love, make magic."

My heart skipped in joy.

"And haven't you heard?  
>I thought I had first<br>And he loves me so  
>We're two in a row<br>Just look in his eyes  
>They're blue as the skies<br>are a picture so pretty  
>but he is so pretty to me."<p>

And she's so beautiful to me.

"So I make whirlpools  
>And watch him sparkle<br>And we'll make love, make magic."

There it is again. Make love.

"But I couldn't tell you  
>Just tell that it takes you<br>'Cause words don't make  
>what I make with him."<p>

Words can't describe her, describe _us._

"Haven't you heard?  
>I'm stuck on a verse<br>I'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy  
>I knew I was wrong<br>to jump straight on into this picture so pretty  
>but he is so pretty to me."<p>

As the slow song came to an end, the crowd went crazy, applauding her. She traveled back to her seat, blushing wildly.

"That was beautiful." I whispered into her ear.

She smiled and pressed her perfect pink lips to mine.

"Let's go for a walk." She whispered, and tugged me out the door.

**(Rose's P.O.V.)**

****I led Christian down to the creek, and we stood under a tree, and he held me.

"How did I get so lucky?" He murmured into my hair.

"It wasn't luck. It was fate." I said softly.

He gifted me with a kiss, and everything fell into place. Yesterday didn't matter, nor did today. All that mattered was we were here, in this moment.


	16. Chapter 16

**(A/N: So you guys have supported me through this wholleeeeee story! If you like Twilight, please _please _check out my story, the girl with the broken smile. And also I have decided that chapter 14 of this story was the last, but I will be posting a sequel, called Someday you will be loved, lots of Rose/Christian drama! Hope you like it, and I reallly hope you'll check out my other story! Thank you guys so much!)**


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